Fixing a whole?

To all those 'careing' fixers,
Abusers in a helpers mask,
To those with all the answers
To question they never had to ask,
To all the oh so humble
Assuming moral higher ground,
Saviours in the triangles,
Snakes within the grass,
To those who fed me bitter pills
To dull a lions heart,
To those who ran from anger
And ignored the wounds inside
To those who dealt in miracles
With poison to their guilt,
To those who saught to lock me up
A freak inside their cage,
To those so full of replies
That they had no time to hear,
To those with polished theories,
With words to chain my hope,
To all who called me 'vulnerable',
To weaken trust within,
Or who conjured phantom lies
with venom driped phrases,
'moral insanity', 'sin', 'defective'
'crazy', 'disfunctional', 'damaged goods'
All the same, all the shame.
To those who called me names,
Labels to build a padded cell,
To those who wouldn't let me be
And support me in being that,
To those who feared the breakthroughs
And cursed them as break downs,
To those who ran from tears
Or thought their's the love I craved.

The so called 'normal',
They are the victims,
They are the insane,
Theirs is the making
Of a final solution
With all the problems
They try to hide.
Blind leading blind,
Down into darkness
Digging an empty grave
For the spirited,
Of whom they're afraid.
They who'd plant us deep
But cannot bury dreams.
Earthed, and watered by tears
These roots that grow now strong.

They see no rainbows
Whose rain has yet to fall,
They feel no joy in breathing
Who know not the road of tears
They are the hollow and empty,
Who seek no treasure deep within.
They will never know my name
For they never saught to find their own.
And all their broken promises,
Led me back to see,
The only light I missed,
Was the courage in my eyes
And the only ones who helped
Were those who let me be;
Those who smiled those knowing smiles
As my masks were washed away
By the thunder and the flood.
Those who let me find my own way home.

This is my heart,
That they could not break,
This is my truth
That they could not take.
And when I seem to have lost it,
Please stand by me in the rain
And just watch the tears wash away
The pain that clouds my eyes.
Do not run from the wolf's cry
For it is the song of the heartland
Fear not the confusion
For such is the wind of change.
To all the charlatans and gurus,
To the doctors and paid ears,
To the psychiatrists and more honest pushers.
F**k your broken fix,
Dry dust in hollow tombs.

All I ever needed was a friend,
To let me be just me,
Just? Hmmm.
Me is all I have.
But if you'll sit here beside me
And be just as you are,
We can share a story or two,
Of the journeys we are on,
Break a little bread
And drink of waters clear.
Perhaps we'll find after all
We are our own best friends,
And any others that we greet,
Well that's just a bonus.
To good company, and laughter
That adds warmth to the campfire;
Reflections from these tear washed eyes,
The fires within this heart.

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This page was posted with kind permission of the author
on 18th March, 2000