The attitudes of some sections of our societies are tragically and uncaringly destroying our children's lives and, in my opinion, the lives of our communities. For the general public, it may sound very reasonable to ask why parents shouldn't take responsibility for their children, I don't think anyone in the world would deny that.. However, what the general public does not know are the tactics used by some parents, most often, ex-wives, with co-operation and legal backing of the Law, disgracefully and maliciously attack millions of ordinary, caring fathers.
Whenever one sees statistics or huge banner headlines in the newspaper proclaiming slogans like 'Deadbeat Dads' it is hard not to nod one's head and think "How awful! Fancy him leaving his little babies" What one never sees and hardly ever reads about are the hundreds of thousands of fathers who do not want to leave their children, though circumstances may make it impossible to be husband to their child's mother. In most cases these disenfranchised men have no choice whether they remain an active father or not. They suffer the pain, heartache and injustice of being denied access, of malicious gossip and rumour, of false statements and cheap, vindictive tricks, all of which the 'mothers' get away with. They get away with disregarding any access orders a court may order, they can stop, at a moment's notice, a visit that's been planned for weeks in advance, with no fear of arrest for disobeying the court.. All this to get one over on their ex-husband, but these 'mothers' never once think of their children.
(..I recall as if yesterday my sisters and I dreading any holiday or birthday because we were made to take Birthday gifts and Xmas gifts back to our "f**king ba***rd" Dad, yet at the same time being told "See, I always told you he was no good. Where's your card this year?" , when he finally gave up to ease things for us. She was likely feeling let down because she had nothing to destroy and humiliate my dad with by making us return things.. I doubt she ever ONCE thought or cared how it hurt us - so long as she got her little victory.... p.s. Our Dad and us got clever :)) He used to sign cards as if it were from our schoolfriends..)
A father can be arrested for breaking a court order to stay away from the family, if he innocently visits the same shopping centre, or any other public place, as his ex-wife and or children.
A father can be jailed for non-payment of child support, but no one cares that he was ill in hospital and not able to earn.
A father can be jailed for losing his job because 'he only did it to avoid paying up'
A father can lose his livelihood by having his driving license taken from him, if he doesn't earn as much as the court decrees he does, and so cannot meet the impossible child support demands..
A father, who seeks legal advice for help in getting to see his children, or present evidence to the court explaining he really cannot meet the child support demands, is vilified and asked how he can spend money on a lawyer but deny food from his own children..
I could go on and on, but suffice it to say, a father cannot win. Tragically no one wins except the mother. The fathers lose everything - some even their lives... The children certainly lose They lose the love, guidance, protection and the most wonderful relationship any human being could wish for, that of having a Dad.
Those of us who know the truth must speak out and let the public know the FACTS. In any Democracy, The People have a right to know that they've been fed on a diet of myths, and half-truths, of misinformation and in some cases downright lies. They have the right to know why fathers are less and less involved in their children's day to day lives. We need to make the public aware of these injustices. For all children and parents, it's time for the God's honest truth.
Here's a news report from Britain that puts a refreshingly honest perspective on the subject. The Child Support Agency, CSA, are looking for "52,000 missing mothers" who are not paying child support.
I wonder if they'd be called "deadbeats"? Would we lock them up, place wheelclamps on their cars? Perhaps we should confiscate their passports? Perhaps garnish their wages or that of their new lover, or family members? Where are the "Wanted Posters" naming and shaming these mothers? Why is it that they can go to ground without a care if their child(ren) have food in their bellies?
Weren't we told it's only men who don't care whether or not their child(ren) are fed and clothed, have heat and light and a stable, comfortable lifestyle? Weren't we told how terrible it is for children when their non-custodial parent doesn't continue paying towards their upkeep? Aren't we told how wonderful, selfsacrificing, and whatever other noble adjectives one could think of, single mothers are, for struggling against all the odds to bring up the child(ren) abandoned by their uncaring, "deadbeat" father and how difficult it is for them to find employment? Why, then, is it any different whon the mother is the non-paying parent?
Single fathers have exactly the same problems as single mothers. Possibly, thay have it worse as they cannot take on the kinds of casual jobs open to women who wish to suppliment their income. Women have far more opportunities for work that would fit in with child care or school routine. We're told how isolating and lonely being a single mother can be, but here again, women have far more scope when it comes to teaming up with other stay at home parents, as most are womwen, thereby gaining help, advice and support. But where does a single father go if he needs help?
Perhaps it's the same as in almost all other situations, though the feminists try to prove otherwise, women have life far easier than men. And perhaps, as with child abuse and domestic violence, non-payment of child support by men is wrong, but when women do it, society turns a blind eye!
CSA chases 52,000 missing mothers
Being A Victim Of Rape Was No Excuse!
Kansas Courts Saved The Day! They didn't let this Deadbeat Dad get away without paying child support... (forgive the sarcasm, but it's truly shocking when a helpless child was raped and even the Courts of the Country of his birth don't care..
Little Shane Seyer was a 12 year old boy who'd been raped by his babysitter, yet the court forced him to pay child support!
Please, all of you reading this, ask yourselves, wouldn't you, be fighting mad if you heard any woman or little girl was being FORCED to have the baby of her rapist? Yet it seems it's okay to rape little boys, you can even get a judge to make the victim pay you for your crime.
This young boy was raped by his babysitter and will be violated repeatedly (until the child support payments end) by the Law taking money from him for the actions he could have no control over. Who decides which child is to be abused and which to be safeguarded? Is this Justice?)
The Court Case Transcript of Shane Seyer - 12 years old
You've Heard The Tripe
Here's The Reality
Information from multiple sources show that only 10% of all noncustodial fathers fit the "deadbeat dad" category: 90% of the fathers with joint custody paid the support due. Fathers with visitation rights pay 79.1%; and 44.5% of those with NO visitation rights still financially support their children. (Source: Census Bureau report. Series P-23, No. 173).
Additionally, of those not paying support, 66% are not doing so because they lack the financial resources to pay (Source: GAO report:GAO/HRD-92-39 FS).
The following is sourced from: Technical Analysis Paper No. 42, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Office of Income Security Policy, Oct. 1991, Authors: Meyer and Garansky.
Custodial mothers who receive a support award: 79.6%
Custodial fathers who receive a support award: 29.9%
Non-custodial mothers who totally default on support: 46.9%
Non-custodial fathers who totally default on support: 26.9%
Fathers, Who Needs Them?
Quote: "The real deadbeat dad is seldom a model citizen, but he is even more seldom the mythical monster described by politicians. Most deadbeat dads are frightened, angry, and depressed men who fall into several overlapping categories:....."
ANCPR (Alliance for Non-Custodial Parents Rights)
The Liberator: Guest Column - What is a Deadbeat Dad?
Deadbeat Dads Owed Nearly $34 billion??
Newspaper Editorials by Jeffery Leving
The following are some of Jeff Leving's activities and appearances
Media Events: Jeffery Leving
Don't Throw the Book At All Deadbeat Dads
Dads, Fatherhood: Kathleen Parker: Making Sense of Things
Sorry, but your display of the State's "deadbeats" poster really turns me off!
Quote: "Government yanks your driver's license for defaulting on your alimony. Innovative tool, or the first step on a slippery slope?" By Andrea MacDonald
Clockworks Feature: Liberty and Deadbeat Dads
Quote: "With the increasing commonality of divorce involving children, a pattern of abnormal behavior has emerged that has received little attention. The present paper defines the Divorce Related Malicious Mother Syndrome. Specific nosologic criteria are provided with abundant clinical examples. Given the lack of scientific data available on the disorder, issues of classification, etiology, treatment, and prevention appear ripe for investigation."
Divorce-Related Malicious Mother Syndrome by Ira Daniel Turket, PhD
Quote: "This website is called the In Sight Collection in honor of the fathers (and sometimes, mothers) who are in the sights of those who hold the weapons. Nothing is more tragic than a child ripped untimely from the arms of a parent. Peggy O'Connor, MSSW - 5/8/98
The IN-SIGHT Collection: Tracking The Dismantling Of The American Family
An appeal for justice in custody and support court decisions. Deadbeat Dads by Jeffrey Asher
The Brutal Custody issues of a Divorced Father
Men's Defense Org. The Liberator: Domestic Relations: March/April 1998
Men's Defense Org. The Liberator: Male Call - Letters
Quote: "What would happen if, say, your power company sent you a bill for $612.27. No other information, just a bill for $612.27. How would you react to receiving a credit card bill for $1094.29. No itemization. Nothing to indicate what you may have purchased. Just a bill, stating you had to pay this amount of money, with absolutely no idea what you bought.
Child support is the only payment someone is expected to pay, with no idea what is being paid for. All they'll tell you is "it's to pay for the support and needs of your children". You don't get a water bill that says "for your water." You expect to know how much water, and at what price per gallon. The parent receiving the support is to make sure that the money is spent on the children."
The Litterbox: Here! PAY THIS BILL! (Thoughts on child-support collection)
FATHERS IN EXILE: Social & Cultral Roots Of 23,000,000 Fatherless Children
Kentuckians for Custody Equality
The National Organization for Men: The Myth of Deadbeat Dads by Stuart A. Miller
The Debating Room: Open letter to NBC Sponsers (McDonalds) Re: Deadbeat Dads
Myths, legends and the American Way: Deadbeat dads
Myth America: The Myth of the "Deadbeat Dad"
What Every Man Should Know About Feminist Issues Child Support
Some Things You Could Do!
Canada: Gene C. Colman, a Toronto area lawyer, is preparing a paper on "gender bias" in the Canadian court system. If you are willing to provide examples of bias for publication and public speaking email Gene at: email@example.com
GENE C. COLMAN, B.A., LL.B. FAMILY LAW CENTRE
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This Page was created On 11th April 1999
Last updated, 12th Maech, 2000