I had always thought feminism stood for equality and compassion for our fellow man. I had thought it a rallying movement for all good men and women of the world to stand together to end injustice wherever we found it, whether in the workplace, the street or indeed in the home. But the feminism I've found lately seems dismissive of anything which may promote real equality. It is divisive and disharmonious.
My new attitude towards feminism started when I began searching the Internet for information on abusive women. I had wanted to understand why our mother was so violent. I thought at first I wasn't putting in the right search requests. But gradually I realised there was a reason I couldn't find information on violent women, it seems it doesn't suit some folk's purpose for us to know that not all women are victims, or that most women go through life without being abused.
Indeed some women, like some men, are actually the perpetrators of abuse. The fact this is denied and women not held accountable for their actions allows their abusive behaviour to go on. The real danger of this is that every time the 'abuse excuse' is used, every time false allegations of rape for spite or monetary gain is made, it detracts from the many men, women and children who are abused, battered and raped.
This not only very sad, in my opinion, it's immoral. Those who use these criminal tactics are no better than dictators. They tell us what we can read by trying to block publication of opposing views, they tell us what we can and cannot do, by dictating to college students how they must interact with each other, they tell us to hate men and they denigrate women who won't 'toe their party line'. Their necessity to prove their point, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, enables them to excuse anything women do, allowing them to get away with horrific child abuse and murder.
Women's abuse of men is also treated in this malicious manner. Women who abuse men are often told: "It's not your fault. He deserved it. You are oppressed", without anyone ever seeking the reality of that relationship. Yet, when that man, injured, bleeding from stab wounds, calls the police, it is often he who is taken away.
Our Governments spend billions upon billions of our taxes to fight abuse. "Children are our most precious asset.", we say. Yet we allow them to be beaten, neglected, abused - both physically and sexually and murdered with hardly any accountability unless their abuser is male. Yet the largest proportion of all child maltreatment is perpetrated by women.
When a man injures, molests or murders a child we shout "string him up", "lock him away" but the women who do these horrific things, we're told, need "help", "understanding", "treatment". And when a man abuses, molests or kills a woman we all him, "evil", yet when women perpetrate those same abuses on men, "He must have provoked her..", "She was defending herself." What twaddle! What utter rubbish!! And how very sad.
Until all citizens are treated fairly by our Courts, until all perpetrators are treated with equal force of the Law, whether that be imprisonment or treatment, then abuse will never be eradicated from our lives, and the lives of victims, men women and children, will continue to be lives of hell on earth..
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I hope something you read here will help open your eyes and make you think. And for those of you suffering abuse I sincerely hope it will help you realise that you are not alone and that I for one, believe you
Once again I would remind anyone for whom this subject may be distressing, try to take breaks while reading these Pages to do some thing you enjoy. You can always bookmark anything you think you may wish to come back to at a later time :)
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Violence In The Home
"Violence should not be a gender issue
It is a human issue."
Violence, despite all the propaganda, is not a 'woman only' crime. If you are suffering, or being threatened with, emotional, physical or sexual abuse in your own home, whether you are a man, woman or child, you are suffering domestic violence.
One of the cruelest things about feminism today is the way it has turned everything on its head - especially in the area of abuse. We hear constantly about women who are beaten, raped and or emotionally abused and of course our hearts are touched. No one, especially me, is going to deny these things are wrong - It's a crime to abuse anyone. But somehow, by repressing and censoring the truth, feminists have managed to convince the media and governments of the western world, that only women suffer these dreadful crimes.
Politicians, of all persuasions, are so hungry for power, they listen to the loudest voices (even if all they hear are lies) in the hope they will win votes. This has to stop!! Not only do women suffer violence, they perpetrate it too. Women perpetrate the highest proprtion of child abuse, and most studies have shown, whether in lesbian or hetrosexual relationships, they also abuse their partners on a 50/50 basis. Whatever else the crime of violence is - It is NOT a crime against women - It is a crime against all humanity.
We need to get back to the truth
We must stop those who use others
pain to feather their own nests
We need to seek to end all violence
We need to stop playing the feminist game
Our Governments must no longer subject us to
the political agendas of the few.
Whether you are a man, woman or child, you do not deserve to be abused in your home, your school or work place or out in the streets.
Violence - Some Facts
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I have thought long and hard about adding this section on False Allegations, because I know how difficult it is for people who have been abused to come forward. Yet, I firmly believe that we should indeed be aware of the great damage done by those who maliciously use other's pain for their own ends.
Every time a false allegation is eventually proven, it makes it that much harder for REAL victims of abuse to come forward and report the crime perpetrated on them. These types of abuse, where it is basically one person's word against another's, are always very difficult for the police and, in this era of "all men are evil" and "victims never lie" many are wrongly accused. It has to stop. There must be very stiff sentences for those who viciously ruin another's reputation for no other reason than monetary or personal gain.
If you have been abused, you deserve all the help and support your Community can offer. You deserve to have your abuser dealt with by the full weight of your Country's Laws, and you deserve to live in safety and peace and to be able to find some way of dealing with your memories that will help you to put your shattered life back together.
However, those who seek to use the Law and the victim support services for their own ends, are taking up those precious resources. But worse, they are poisoning the climate and making it more difficult for geniune victims.
It is in all our interests, whether we be victims or members of the general public, to fight for Laws making it a crime, with severe consequences, for anyone to bring false alligations on another.
Sexual Harrassment - Rape - False Allegations
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In the past many people were locked into abusive relationships and had no way out of them so the shelter movement is a good step forward.
How sickening, then, to find the shelters being used in ways not intended, and even causing harm to those they are supposed to help. There are exceptions, of course, and it is not these good and reputable places I wish to draw to your attention.
There is much touting of the feminist agenda going on in these places. And, whilst by Law they are supposed to help all victims of abuse, there are very few which of these places that even acknowledge men as victim, and even fewer that offer help and support to those men.
Lesbian communities have often to fund shelters specifically for their fellow lesbians, if they are in abusive relationships, since most shelters cannot deal with the fact that women also abuse. I know this from personal experience when I had cause to phone a help-line last year concerning the lack of support for children abused by their mothers. The lady I was talking to admitted, "I know what you mean. I work in one of the only shelters I know, that admits lesbian victims."
The politicising of abuse must not be allowed to continue. Abuse is perpetrated by both genders, and ALL victims deserve to be helped, no matter which gender they may be..
The Shelter Movement
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Though I do not want to seem to be blaming the victim, those of us who have been abused, especially by a woman. must try to overcome our feelings of fear and humiliation. We must speak out. We must tell others of our experiences. We must let them feel our pain. We must let them know that women and men are no different when it comes to being abusive. We must let politicians know they cannot keep us hidden - nor deny us justice. We must demand the term 'domestic violence' once again mean what it should - Violence In The Home. Most importantly, we must try to stop feeling the abuse was our fault, that we deserved it or caused it and we must try not to feel it is something we should feel ashamed about. No one asks to be abused and no one should be made to suffer more abuse by not being able to get the help they need. Our communities must stop providing help and support for only one section of society.
If you would like to share some of your experiences
please send them to:
for inclusion on the:
Share Your Experiences Page
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The Chat Room is free to use and doesn't require any special programmes. It's not Linked to any other Chat Place and I've given you the power to 'boot out' anyone who you feel is being disrespectful. I apologise that it does ask for name and e-mail address, there's nothing I can do about that just now - but, if you'd feel safer, you can always use a nickname in the mean time : ).. By the way, if you would like to chat with any of your cyber friends, all you'd need do is arrange a time to meet in the Chat Room. You can use this Link to help you with the World Time Differences if your friends are in other countries.
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Back To Abuse Hurts Everyone
This Page was created On 8th December 1998
Last updated on 3rd February, 2001